8-Month Plan To Steal Favorite Desk Lamp: “WASHINGTON—With his term in office coming to an end in less than a year, President Bush announced Monday that he will spend the remainder of his presidency implementing an initiative that will have as-yet-unknown implications for his successors: the stealing of a coveted $27 desk lamp from the East Room of the White House. ‘Securing this lamp for my den in Crawford has long been a goal of my presidency,’ Bush said of the plan, which at present consists of the president making sure no one is in the room before cramming the lamp under his shirt and hurriedly boarding a helicopter that will be waiting in the Rose Garden. ‘In order to facilitate this imperative, historic measure, I have created a new cabinet-level position whose primary responsibilities will be to act as a lookout and create any necessary diversions needed to ensure the swiping of the lamp.’ Bush’s lamp-stealing plan will reportedly cost taxpayers $3.75 billion.” (The Onion)

“The survey questioned 800 Americans who were in pain, undergoing physical rehabilitation or seeking legal compensation for disability to find out their attitude towards their GP.

The researchers from the University of Miami, Florida, found that just over 1 in 20, or five per cent, admitted feeling like they wanted to murder their physician.

David Fishbain, an author of the study, found that distrust of doctors was often the cause of the problem, but understanding who was likely to have a wish to harm and why could help reduce attacks, the New Scientist magazine reports.

Few doctors are actually killed by their patients, but thousands are attacked and injured, Professor Fishbain said.” (news.com.au)