Thanks for all your support through the years. We began eighteen years ago, in a galaxy far away. “I am the world crier, & this is my dangerous career… I am the one to call your bluff, & this is my climate.” —Kenneth Patchen (1911-1972)
Please write to offer suggestions or criticisms. What would you like to see more of, less of in the coming eighteen years here?
(Please do not write to inquire about advertising on this weblog or to offer to submit thinly-disguised advertisements as if they were weblog posts. Also, please do not write to let me know you wish I go easier on the Boy King in the White House.)
Happy to continue to send these missives your way, but remember:
Do not use if you have ever had an allergic reaction to this product or any of its ingredients.
Failure to follow all instructions and warnings can result in serious injury.
Please leave as clean on leaving as you would like to find on entering.
Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Place all seat backs and tray tables in fully upright position.
Post office will not deliver without proper postage affixed.
Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this weblog.
Caution: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Please note locations of emergency exits upon arrival.
No animals were harmed in the production of this page.
May be used as flotation device in case of emergency.
No ideas were harmed in the making of this weblog.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
Satisfaction guaranteed; return for full refund.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
All questions answered, all answers questioned.
Objects on screen are closer than they appear.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Detach and include upper portion with payment.
Nutritional need is not established in humans.
Caution: do not swallow. May cause irritation.
Do not use if safety seal is torn or missing.
Please inform author if you cannot read this.
Product is sold by weight and not by volume.
In emergency, break glass, pull down handle.
Caution! The edge is closer than you think.
Contents may have settled during shipment.
Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate.
Take two and call me in the morning.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Freshest if used before date specified.
Valid only at participating locations.
If swallowed, do not induce vomiting.
You have the right to remain silent.
Do not remove under penalty of law.
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Use only in well-ventilated areas.
Do not exceed recommended dosage.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Warning, contents are flammable.
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Alarm will sound if door opened.
You break it, you’ve bought it.
You need not be present to win.
Keep out of reach of children.
Part of a daily balanced diet.
First pull up, then pull down.
Void where prohibited by law.
Apply only to affected areas.
Other restrictions may apply.
Close cover before striking.
Do not think of an elephant.
Viewer discretion advised.
You must be present to win.
Caution, low-flying ideas.
Honk if you can read this.
No purchase is necessary.
More taste, less filling.
Internet access required.
Not a low-calorie food.
Don’t try this at home.
Wash hands after using.
Consume in moderation.
Store in a cool place.
For external use only.
Mix well before using.
Your mileage may vary.
Shake well before use.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Use only as directed.
Results not typical.
Ignore this notice.
Slippery when wet.
Unplug after use.