How to Write a Rapture Letter

“Isn’t this thoughtful? Those demented bawbags who are waiting for the Rapture this weekend have prepared a letter to help explain where they and “millions and millions” of the faithful have disappeared to.” (via Dangerous Minds). Anyone know anyone who was raptured this weekend? I’m not sure if the Rapture didn’t happen or if I just don’t know any of the righteous. I did brush my teeth and put on fresh underwear yesterday morning just in case.