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State of the Union Cut-Up:

In a way, it makes more sense than the original. [Tony Manzo]


What he did made me curious about something; I ran the text of the State of the Union through a word frequency counter and sorted it in descending order. Here’s the list of words used (or misused) more than five times, barring the trivial ‘the’, ‘of’, ‘a’, etc.:

84 WE

73 IS

70 OUR

64 THAT

56 FOR

49 WILL

42 HAVE

42 THIS

38 NOT

36 ARE

33 I

32 PEOPLE

31 HAS

29 ALL

28 YOU

27 WEAPONS

26 WORLD

26 HE

26 WITH

25 IT

25 ON

25 FROM

25 AMERICA

24 S

24 BE

24 BY

22 MORE

20 AS

19 COUNTRY

19 THEIR

19 SADDAM

19 HUSSEIN

18 THESE

18 WHO

18 MUST

17 AMERICANS

16 NO

16 MANY

15 OR

15 EVERY

15 UNITED

15 AN

15 CAN

15 AMERICAN

15 ONE

14 IRAQ

14 NATION

14 THEM

13 YEARS

13 AT

13 US

13 YEAR

12 MILLION

12 NUCLEAR

12 GOVERNMENT

12 AIDS

12 THAN

11 WAR

11 COULD

11 ITS

11 NEW

11 THEY

11 HELP

11 TONIGHT

11 INSPECTORS

10 ECONOMY

10 NATIONS

10 THREAT

10 CONGRESS

10 INTELLIGENCE

10 POWER

10 OWN

10 SECURITY

10 THOSE

10 AGAINST

10 WORK

9 PEACE

9 ASK

9 STATES

9 LIFE

9 HAD

9 HIS

9 DO

9 CITIZENS

9 CARE

8 ONLY

8 SHOULD

8 ENERGY

8 AL

8 QAEDA

8 WHEN

8 NOW

8 GOOD

8 YET

8 SO

8 DRUGS

8 MATERIALS

8 MAKE

8 YOUR

8 TAX

8 IRAQI

7 AFRICA

7 GREAT

7 WHICH

7 CHEMICAL

7 CHILDREN

7 INCOME

7 NEXT

7 OUT

7 TERRORISTS

7 HEALTH

6 KEEP

6 CONTINUE

6 BRING

6 PLAN

6 TERROR

6 UP

6 PROTECT

6 IF

6 BIOLOGICAL

6 USE

6 FREE

6 DAY

6 ALSO

6 MEN

6 NEED

6 TERRORIST

6 DISARM

6 INTERNATIONAL

6 REGIME

6 KNOW

6 SENIORS

6 FIRST

6 OTHER

6 U

6 EVIDENCE

6 MUCH

This too elucidates Bush’s thought process as well as the original, for example, “People has all you weapons world he with it on from America.” Or how about, “By more as country Saddam Hussein these who must Americans no many or every united an can American one Iraq nation them. Years at us, year million nuclear government aids than war could its new they help tonight inspectors economy nations threat. Congress intelligence power own security those against work peace ask states life. Citizens care only should energy al Qaeda yet so drugs materials make your tax…” But, of course, it’s the speechwriters we have to thank, not the eloquence of Dubya himself.

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Spike Wrote to Say Goodbye:

I missed it, way down at the bottom of this recent column, but the Spike Report at OJR is, as Spike puts it, ‘slated to cease publication at the end of this month if sponsorship for the column can’t be found’, after a venerable five years’ of eclectic, eloquent and erudite observation. Any sugar daddies out there who can forstall the silencing of one of the more witty, whimsical and acute observers of the scene? Spike (who reveals he is the secret identity of Gideon Brower) posted his final column today, he wrote to say.