Good Riddance Dept

(Hoping for a number of posts to this newly-opened dept. of FmH…)

Ashcroft Resigns: “Attorney General John Ashcroft and Commerce Secretary Don Evans have resigned, the White House said Tuesday evening.

Ashcroft’s resignation will be effective upon confirmation of his successor, a Justice Department official said.

The White House released their resignation letters Tuesday evening. Ashcroft’s was hand-written and dated November 2, the day Bush was re-elected; Evans’ was dated Tuesday.

President Bush met with his Cabinet on Thursday and held a news conference later that day. At that time Bush said he had yet to make any decisions about replacements for any people who resigned.” (CNN)

We should all have some dread about who will replace him, of course, although it would be difficult to imagine someone who matches his bizarreness. After all, Ashcroft was the man who spent thousands of dollars to have curtains obscure the bare-breasted statue of Justice in the lobby of the Justice Dept. And the same one who had Clarence Thomas anoint him with oil at his swearing-in, just in case we did not have enough confusion about whether he was appointed or Elected. One thing that will probably be unmatched in his successor is Ashcroft’s divisiveness, since it is difficult to conceive of how the country could be more polarized than it already is at this juncture, unless “Bush the uniter” brings forward the name of faithful proto-fascist White House counsel and torture tactician Alberto Gonzales, as sources indicate is likely. I actually look forward to the vicious confirmation hearing, perhaps the first opportunity for the chastened minority party to flex its muscle, if members have the guts to take a principled stand. The new Senate minority leader, Harry Reid (D.-Nev.), is supposed to be a masterful parlimentarian strategist; this would give him an early chance to show us all what he’s got. Pundits also mention Larry Thompson, loyal no. 2 man at Justice under Ashcroft, to succeed Ashcroft. His confirmation would be far less controversial. With Bush’s “mandate”, his plan to “spend my political capital”, which choice appears more likely?

Heaven forfend: could Ashcroft be in line for the first vacancy on the Supreme Court (which, with Rehnquist’s apparently advanced thyroid cancer, may be imminent)?

A Message from Cam Kerry on Counting All the Votes

I had initially dismissed concerns about voting fraud during the presidential race, as you know from a post below, as an expression of our collective denial about the finality of the traumatic outcome. However, evidence accumulates. I am glad to see someone coordinating an effort to examine the issue further, toward whatever action turns out to be warranted. Here is an email being circulated; feel free to send it around broadly.

November 9, 2004

I am grateful to the many people who have contacted me to express their deep concern about questions of miscounting, fraud, vote suppression, and other problems on election day, especially in Florida and Ohio. Their concern reflects how much people care about the outcome of this election. I want to you to know we are not ignoring it.

Election protection lawyers are still on the job in Ohio and Florida and in DC making sure all the votes are counted accurately. I have been conferring with lawyers involved and have made them aware of the information and concerns people have given me. Even if the facts don’t provide a basis to change the outcome, the information will inform the continuing effort to protect the integrity of our elections.

If you have specific factual information about voting problems that could be helpful to the lawyers doing their job, please send it to vri@dnc.org rather than to me. The election protection effort has been important to me personally, and I am proud of the 17,000 lawyers around the country who helped. It’s obvious that we have a way to go still, but their efforts helped make a difference. Their work goes on.

Thank you,

Cam Kerry

Canadian border phrase translations

“Hello. Are you a Canadian border guard?”

“Bonjour. Êtes-vous une esti de garde canadienne de frontière?”

“I would like to apply for permanent residence”

“Je voudrais solliciter la résidence permanente”

“I am a political refuge. The reason? My former country has been overrun with morons and rednecks.”

“Je suis un chris de refugé politique. La raison? Mon ancien pays a été débordé avec des asti d’innocentes et des batardes.”

“Before I step over the border, I have a couple of questions for you.”

“Avant que je passe la frontière, j’ai un couple des questions pour vous.”

-“Can the Prime Minister say the word ‘nuclear’?”

-“Peut le premier ministre dire le mot ‘nucléaire’?”

-“Is Canada at war with anyone for no good reason?”

-“Le Canada à la guerre avec n’importe qui, et est-il pour aucune bonne raison?”

-“Do you allow pretend cowboys to be in positions of power?”

-“Laissez-vous des osti de cowboys dans des positions de pouvoire?”

“Yes, no, and no? Fine. Let me the f%#k in.”

“Oui, non, et non? Et ben, Laissez-moi rentre la dedans chris de tabarnaque de callis.” [thanks, Nathalie]

“Art is the means we have of undoing the damage of haste. It’s

what everything else isn’t.”

— Theodore Roethke

What’s 40% bigger than the mother of ’em all?

Eglin AFB Studying Massive 30,000-Pound Bomb: “The Air Force built a weapon so big it was nicknamed ‘Mother of All Bombs’ on the eve of the war with Iraq, but MOAB would be dwarfed by a much larger munition now under study.

The proposed Massive Ordnance Penetrator, or MOP, would weigh 30,000 pounds, nearly 40 percent more than the 21,000 pound MOAB — officially Massive Ordnance Air Blast — that never saw combat.” (local6.news [Fla.])

I guess the boys’ toys still aren’t big enough.

Best Buy hopes to exorcize devil patrons

“As far as the old adage “the customer is always right” goes, Best Buy doesn’t buy it. The massive retailer is being vocal about something that at first might sound a little uncouth: frankly, they’d rather not have 20% of their customers as customers. In an age where it seems like everyone casts their nets as wide as possible to bring in more eyes, feet, and wallets, Best Buy is doing the opposite. They believe that a small portion of their customers are bad for business, and they’re looking to shut them out. Of course, Best Buy loves their ‘angel’ customers who buy things regardless of price, and load up on high ticket items. The problem is that the details are about the devils.

The devils are its worst customers. They buy products, apply for rebates, return the purchases, then buy them back at returned-merchandise discounts. They load up on ‘loss leaders,’ severely discounted merchandise designed to boost store traffic, then flip the goods at a profit on eBay. They slap down rock-bottom price quotes from Web sites and demand that Best Buy make good on its lowest-price pledge. ‘They can wreak enormous economic havoc,’ says Mr. Anderson.

Some see this as Best Buy trying to ‘have its cake and eat it too,’ by wanting to keep rebates, loss leaders, and massive promotions going, but exclude those who make routine use of them. Why not just stop with the marketing games?” (ars technica)

Long After Kinsey, Only the Brave Study Sex

“Decades after the sexual revolution, sex researchers in the United States still operate in a kind of scientific underground, fearing suppression or public censure. In a culture awash in sex talk and advice in magazines and movies and on daytime TV, the researchers present their findings in coded language, knowing that at any time they, like Dr. Kinsey, could be held up as a public threat.” (New York Times)

The British Way with Words

God Help America: “They say that in life you get what you deserve. Well, today America has deservedly got a lawless cowboy to lead them further into carnage and isolation and the unreserved contempt of most of the rest of the world.

This once-great country has pulled up its drawbridge for another four years and stuck a finger up to the billions of us forced to share the same air. And in doing so, it has shown itself to be a fearful, backward-looking and very small nation.” [read the entire editorial] (DailyMirror.UK [via Jill])