Periodic Disclaimers and Warnings

Allergen Information: produced in a facility that uses peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, milk and shellfish.
Do not use if you have ever had an allergic reaction to this product or any of its ingredients.
Failure to follow all instructions and warnings can result in serious injury.
Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Please leave as clean on leaving as you would like to find on entering.
Nontransferable and is the sole responsibility of the recipient.
Place all seat backs and tray tables in fully upright position.
Post office will not deliver without proper postage affixed.
Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this weblog.
Caution: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
No animals were harmed in the production of this page.
Please note locations of emergency exits upon arrival.
May be used as flotation device in case of emergency.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
No ideas were harmed in the making of this weblog.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Satisfaction guaranteed; return for full refund.
All questions answered, all answers questioned.
Caution: do not swallow. May cause irritation.
Detach and include upper portion with payment.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Nutritional need is not established in humans.
Objects on screen are closer than they appear.
Do not use if safety seal is torn or missing.
May incur damages arising from use or misuse.
Please inform author if you cannot read this.
In emergency, break glass, pull down handle.
Product is sold by weight and not by volume.
Provided “as is” and without any warranties.
Caution! The edge is closer than you think.
Contents may have settled during shipment.
Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate.
Subject to all applicable fees and taxes.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Freshest if used before date specified.
Valid only at participating locations.
If swallowed, do not induce vomiting.
Take two and call me in the morning.
You have the right to remain silent.
Do not remove under penalty of law.
This page intentionally left blank.
Available for a limited time only.
Use only in well-ventilated areas.
Additional parts sold separately.
Do not exceed recommended dosage.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Subject to change without notice.
Alarm will sound if door opened.
Warning, contents are flammable.
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
You break it, you’ve bought it.
You need not be present to win.
First pull up, then pull down.
Keep out of reach of children.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Part of a daily balanced diet.
Apply only to affected areas.
Other restrictions may apply.
Void where prohibited by law.
Close cover before striking.
Do not think of an elephant.
Use under adult supervision.
Not a birth control device.
Sealed for your protection.
Terms and conditions apply.
You must be present to win.
Caution, low-flying ideas.
Colors may fade over time.
For recreational use only.
Honk if you can read this.
Viewer discretion advised.
Handle with extreme care.
Internet access required.
Limit one (1) per person.
More taste, less filling.
No purchase is necessary.
We prosecute trespassers.
Charge before first use.
Batteries not included.
Do not inflate indoors.
Don’t try this at home.
Employee entrance only.
Lights on when raining.
Not a low-calorie food.
Some assembly required.
Wash hands after using.
Consume in moderation.
Edited for television.
For external use only.
Last exit before toll.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Mix well before using.
Shake well before use.
Store in a cool place.
Void where prohibited.
Your mileage may vary.
Money-back guarantee.
Remove before flight.
Use only as directed.
Beware of jet blast.
Consume responsibly.
Do not put in mouth.
For office use only.
Results not typical.
Ignore this notice.
Overhead utilities.
Danger: keep away.
One size fits all.
Remove before use.
Slippery when wet.
For deposit only.
No preservatives.
Same-day service.
Unplug after use.
Kilroy was here.
No trespassing.
This side down.
Do not shake.
Not a toy.
No exit.
No.