Bush Proposes Universal Time Zone

At the United Nations today President George W. Bush announced a proposal to unify all the world’s time zones into a single Universal Time Zone (UTZ), formerly known as the Eastern Time Zone.

“It’s unfair to the United States that other countries have the advantage of being in tomorrow while the US is stuck in today,” said Bush. “If it’s 9 PM in Washington D.C., it’s already tomorrow in London or Paris. That patently unfair.”

Bush continued, “Right now, Americans are losing jobs to other countries whose workforce can give overnight service during their normal daylight hours. We’ll level the playing field and keep more jobs in the US with the UTZ.” BBspot [via walker]