I love this weblog, You Are Not So Smart, which explodes our assumptions about why we do the things we do. Here, it is the notion that we behave toward people according to how we feel about them. In reality, it is often the other way around; our feelings toward others will be post facto justifications for how we see ourselves acting toward them. This is because feeling justified, having a plausible explanation for our actions, is so essential. So if you can get someone who dislikes you to do a favor for you, their attitude toward you will change. And, perhaps more important, if you would like to cultivate an attitude of lovingkindness and dissipate your own bitter feelings toward someone, do a favor for them.