A letter from New York writer Liz Gilbert originally posted on Sept. 12, 2001 at Gargoyle:

“It is late now, almost dawn, and I should go to sleep. I don’t know what more I can do tonight except what I have done all day — continue to believe in God, continue to believe in New York City and to steadfastly refuse to hate. Something unthinkable has happened here to our humanity, but all I saw on the streets today was calm, compassion, perserverance and resolve. What I will try to remember most from September 11, 2001 is this moment. I was in line to give blood. Someone from the hospital came out and made a loud request that anyone with O-positive or O-negative blood would please step forward. ‘We need your blood,’ said the nurse. ‘We need you.’ The message shot back through the crowd and the masses stirred and from within the ranks of us emerged these universal donors. One at a time they pushed forward — a young black man, a professional-looking Asian woman, an old man in a yarmulke, some hispanic students, a city bus driver, etc. With reverence, we all parted to let them pass. They seemed for that moment to be the most important people in New York City. They shared nothing in common with one another except the same blood. A blood that can save any life because it does not discriminate. A universal blood. What runs through their veins is our best and only hope. God bless them.”

And here were my first thoughts in this weblog in reaction to the World Trade Center attack two years ago:

Just some thoughts…

Last weekend I saw Apocalypse Now Redux, and the intensity of its searing images, which indeed had been with me since first seeing the film on its release day in 1979, had a renewed presence, just in time for its phantasmagoria to fuse with current events. Apocalyptic, indeed. I’ve been going through the motions of my day at the hospital today in a sort of half-reality, after being at home this AM watching events unfold on live TV until I realized I didn’t want these images played and replayed in front of my three-year-old daughter. There’s something comforting about being in a profession like caring for urgently sick patients which has to go on no matter what else is happening in the world; most things would seem so irrelevant for now. When I was able to connect with my wife, I broke down and sobbed, barely able to catch my breath — “My God, what kind of world do we live in??” Does today mark a sudden sea change, after which the world will be forever different? On the other hand, as horrible as this attack has been, people in many parts of the world live in daily fear of terrorism no different in horror if different in magnitude and drama. Welcome to the real world, U.S.? Get used to the post-traumatic scarring of our collective psyche by the eruption of events that shred the fabric of predictability and control with which our lives have been woven.

Many of us are probably thinking similar things. In a way, I’m surprised that this didn’t happen sooner. The methodology used in this terrorist attack appears to be exactly that publicly blueprinted years ago. Pundits talk about the rude awakening from “America the safe”, “America the invulnerable”, cushioned by our enfolding oceans, but our vulnerability to domestic assault and the indiscriminacy of targeting the general population have long been expected. It should not shock us either that it was so easy to carry out four simultaneous hijackings in the face of “airline security measures” (I concede, of course, that we don’t know if further actions, beyond these four, were thwarted today…). I’ve long suspected that we treat mostly our own anxieties and discourage only threats from the frivolous or erratic unbalanced with our x-rays and metal detectors. Turnover among security personnel is amazingly high and compensation amazingly low; the airline companies give the contracts to manage their gate security to the lowest bidder. Security checks are only as good as the vigilance of those conducting them, and subject to the predictable human frailties of diffidence, wavering attention, disinvestment, burnout, and arbitrariness. Lord, I was harrassed when my son and I visited the Statue of Liberty this spring because of a folding knife in my backpack!

I fear that today’s events may not be the culmination, but only the opening volley, in fact. Can we rest assured that the organization and discipline, the zeal and the impunity of such attackers won’t translate into a CBW or suitcase-fission weapon attack? Friends of mine here in Boston cautioned me not to be too comfortable drinking from the water supply today. I dismissed that as histrionics at first, but is it really unrealistic?? And then: we’re likely to wake up in a world tomorrow in which objections to the unprecedented crackdown on our civil liberties we’re likely to face will be about as popular as pacifist conscientious objectors were after Pearl Harbor.

So what can we do, if we live in a world of such terror? If you’re in New York — or even if you’re not — think about giving blood, now if ever… Two of the hijacked flights originated here in Boston. Soon enough, I suppose, it’ll be clear whether I or my friends and immediate community knew anyone on those flights and can be of personal support. Professionally, I may also be able to be useful if there is a need for specialized disaster response counselling for the families and friends of victims here, which is something I’ve trained and volunteered to do. Nowadays, however, the airlines usually bring in their own teams rather than use those, like mine, that are community-based. Barring that, all I can think of has been to take deeper breaths, think for an extra moment before I act, cultivate my compassion and caring, work for peace and justice in small and, if ever possible, larger ways, and raise my children to do so… although with no naive illusions. I have more of a sense now than perhaps ever before of belonging to a nation, a community… of victims. But it’s a cautious, wavering sense of belonging. I can only echo the sentiments of others that, as a nation, we had better think carefully before we decide if, and how, to address our collective thirst for vengeance — especially after hearing the news of Palestinians dancing in the streets rejoicing at these events. The rabid anti-Muslim hysterics are about to begin… Did you notice how ready the news anchors were to give credibility to scurrilous reports that Islamic groups had claimed responsibility?

Readers of FmH know my feelings about B— and his minions, and it goes without saying for me that the ignorant fundamentalist ideologues ought not to be in charge of this show at a time like this. Let’s remember that they didn’t have the country’s mandate to govern in the first place. Although it is customary to say that we all must pull together behind our Administration in a show of strength and unity at such a time of national crisis, if there were ever a time to remind them, and the world, that they do not speak and act for me in perpetuating the hatred by seeking unmeasured Biblical retribution, this is it. After Gandhi, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” Our adamant collective anger will make this an unpopular stance, I know…

I usually like to buff, finesse, and worry my public thoughts into polished form; not good at off-the-cuff ruminating. But I needed to put down some of the inchoate, complicated feelings and reactions fresh. I know my first impulse was to go offline and run and turn on CNN when I learned about this in the morning, as I said in bold type below. It doesn’t seem easy to follow fast-breaking news by point-and-click. Nevertheless, the thoughtful reflections on today’s horror of many of the webloggers I follow (see sidebar) are worth reading.

Mostly, right now, my heart is with the families of the victims of this carnage…