Legends of the fall —  Wondering just how legendary you really are? Find out, instantly, just like Phil Spector!

“…With such a muddled mess of opinions floating around, it’s easy to forget that this is only the beginning of the media dog-pile. Once new evidence arises, or, if Spector is found guilty, an even darker picture should emerge. Celebrities like Robert Blake and O.J. Simpson have demonstrated that, once that verdict comes in (or even beforehand), friends will start to recall a darker, uglier you than ever before.

But, paradoxically, if you’re actually convicted, things should start looking up: You’ll have the benefit of looking all sallow and depressed in your prison garb. When people think you’re accustomed to savoring fine foods and sleeping on Egyptian cotton sheets, they seem to have a tough time seeing you suffer through poly blends and mystery meat stroganoff. Thousands of hearts will cry out to you, and worry about how you’re sleeping at night and whether you’ll have to trade your cup of tapioca for the right to remain unmolested by T-Bone, your cellmate. Those thousands of hearts have watched “Oz” — they know the deal.

Your time behind bars might ruin your complexion, but it’ll do wonders for your image.” Salon