English: Darien monument to firefighters, Dari...

I am grateful that you held the door open for me as I walked into the bakery.  I am sorry that I was so preoccupied that I did not acknowledge your kindness quickly enough for your liking.

A great man once told me not to qualify my apologies with extenuation, but simply to take responsibility for my transgression. But, I’m sorry, I’m going to make an exception this time.

I am sorry that, for you, a benevolent act is ruined if it is not given proper recognition by the recipient. Pitiful.

Indeed, I am grateful that you have helped me identify that I am sometimes a pitiful assh*le. I don’t refer so much to times I fail to acknowledge a courtesy but, rather, to when I myself have muttered an epithet under my breath when someone else was not grateful enough for my egotistical kindness.

Sometimes, the contempt of the contemptible is akin to a compliment.